[ exo : stay ]
Oct. 22nd, 2014 03:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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kokoronashistay
fandom exo
pairing sesoo (d.o./sehun)
style one-shot
length 1068
nsfw. contains sex. kyungsoo was twenty and hadn't learn to not fall in love with straight boys.
“Stay.”
Kyungsoo wasn't sure why he said that with a quiet and unwavering voice. Perhaps because it felt like the right word to fill the gaps between silence and the rustling of Sehun's clothes as he put them back on slowly, allowing Kyungsoo to watch his pale back.
“We're not like that.”
Sehun said, and Kyungsoo knew that Sehun was right and said nothing in reply.
They were not like that, they were a lot of things, but they were not that.
They were the type to fuck quickly in the nearest closet, not even bothering to check if it had a working light. In those moments Kyungsoo can't see Sehun and Sehun can't see Kyungsoo and he wasn't sure if he liked it more or less. On one hand he couldn't see Sehun's face, on the other he could feel Sehun tightening up around him more than before and Sehun could hear his voice like it was the only thing in the world even though he held back to stifled moans and little groans.
They were the type to take things slow in Kyungsoo's bed on the nights Kyungsoo's roommate Jongin was having past-midnight dance practise sessions. With Sehun, naked in everything but his heart peppered kisses down Kyungsoo's neck and chest, having tied Kyungsoo's hand with a convenient tie, a piece of one of their stage outfits, so that Kyungsoo couldn't touch him as Sehun, flaunted what he knew he had with a smirk Kyungsoo had grown accustomed to, hearing Kyungsoo whine. When Kyungsoo whined loudly enough, Sehun asked Kyungsoo, coyly:
“But what do you want hyung?”
And he was the type to enjoy teasing and taunting and giving Kyungsoo just-abouts. And Kyungsoo was the type to finally give in and say, quietly, despairingly:
“I want to be inside of you.”
Sehun was the type to comply. He would put Kyungsoo's member in him as if it was the easiest thing for him to do, but whenever Kyungsoo watched – and really watched – he noticed the little winces and bitten lips to hold back moans. Sehun was the type to ride Kyungsoo, bouncing up and down on his lap but refusing any kisses on his lips and refusing to let Kyungsoo touch him more.
They were all of that, but they were not the type to stay. This was something Kyungsoo knew.
Yet in that moment as he watched Sehun's back disappear, covered by his shirt, a part of him wished they were.
Kyungsoo had forgotten how it started, or so he would tell himself. It was a half-lie really, because in the matters of how, Kyungsoo remembered some things very vividly.
He remembered how he came to the conclusion he might need, for the lack of a better word, a fuckbuddy. He remembered how he was hard at the thought of Jongin's body and the feel of Jongin's touch, which was difficult because Jongin touched a lot. He was hard and frustrated because he knew Jongin was straight and falling for straight boys was an error twenty-years old Kyungsoo hadn't learn to not do.
He remembered how Sehun became the right partner for his little vent. Sehun wouldn't kiss and tell. (Sehun didn't kiss at all, but that was beside the point) But more than that, Sehun's heart was just as broken despite looking like he was as unmoved as Kyungsoo pretended to be. Sehun's heart, unlike Kyungsoo's, was broken by playing best friend to a boy who loved another boy, except that other boy wasn't Sehun. Kyungsoo wasn't ever sure which was worse.
He remembered how Sehun felt in his arms for the first time, back then when there was no tie and no tying up and Sehun wasn't as cheeky or brave. He remembered how back then, Sehun wasn't as tall and wasn't as built too.
But he couldn't, for the life of him, remember how did Sehun stopped being a stand-in for Jongin and started transforming into his own shape and his own skin in Kyungsoo's mind. How it came to be that every time, he realised he was simply fucking Oh Sehun, not Oh Sehun as a replacement for Kim Jongin.
He couldn't, for the life of him, remembered how he came to an unspoken conclusion he wanted to continue despite his fantasy having long shattered while Sehun's remaining in tact.
Maybe it was the neck kisses, the coy smile, the word hyung that left Sehun's lips not to respect but to tease, even though Kyungsoo recognised that he wasn't the hyung that word wanted to reach.
If Kyungsoo was someone else, perhaps his expression would have betrayed him right now, but Kyungsoo was Kyungsoo and his face remained in its poker state even as his heart started hurting around Sehun.
Even is he wanted to beg Sehun to stay, his voice remained unwavering and his expression remained non-committal.
Even as Sehun laughed and reminded him mercilessly (even if Sehun didn't know he was hurting him) and unhelpfully (because Kyungsoo had never forgotten) that they weren't like that.
“Do you want to end this?” Kyungsoo asked Sehun. They were backstage and had somehow managed to find themselves a little corner. Sehun had sucked him off, slowly and teasingly despite nearby footsteps ringing in Kyungsoo's ears.
A part of him wanted to see something in Sehun. An expression that showed surprise. Although ideally, he wanted Sehun to cry, even a little bit. At the very least, he wanted Sehun to say no.
His eyes watched Sehun's reaction, his expression unchanging.
And so was Sehun's. Sehun didn't look surprised, not even a little. Sehun didn't cry, didn't even have to blink back tears. Sehun didn't say no.
Sehun shrugged.
“Do you?”
And Kyungsoo knew he should have said yes, but his voice created a steady and unwavering “no” instead.
This would all come to an end one day, Kyungsoo knew, but he didn't want that day to be today. He wanted another day of Sehun's lips against his skin, even if they were fleeting and left no marks, as if they were never there.
This would all come to an end one day, Kyungsoo knew, but he wanted to engrave Sehun's taste on his body before that day come and it will all disappear.
Another day of being something, even if it was not like that.
fandom exo
pairing sesoo (d.o./sehun)
style one-shot
length 1068
nsfw. contains sex. kyungsoo was twenty and hadn't learn to not fall in love with straight boys.
“Stay.”
Kyungsoo wasn't sure why he said that with a quiet and unwavering voice. Perhaps because it felt like the right word to fill the gaps between silence and the rustling of Sehun's clothes as he put them back on slowly, allowing Kyungsoo to watch his pale back.
“We're not like that.”
Sehun said, and Kyungsoo knew that Sehun was right and said nothing in reply.
They were not like that, they were a lot of things, but they were not that.
They were the type to fuck quickly in the nearest closet, not even bothering to check if it had a working light. In those moments Kyungsoo can't see Sehun and Sehun can't see Kyungsoo and he wasn't sure if he liked it more or less. On one hand he couldn't see Sehun's face, on the other he could feel Sehun tightening up around him more than before and Sehun could hear his voice like it was the only thing in the world even though he held back to stifled moans and little groans.
They were the type to take things slow in Kyungsoo's bed on the nights Kyungsoo's roommate Jongin was having past-midnight dance practise sessions. With Sehun, naked in everything but his heart peppered kisses down Kyungsoo's neck and chest, having tied Kyungsoo's hand with a convenient tie, a piece of one of their stage outfits, so that Kyungsoo couldn't touch him as Sehun, flaunted what he knew he had with a smirk Kyungsoo had grown accustomed to, hearing Kyungsoo whine. When Kyungsoo whined loudly enough, Sehun asked Kyungsoo, coyly:
“But what do you want hyung?”
And he was the type to enjoy teasing and taunting and giving Kyungsoo just-abouts. And Kyungsoo was the type to finally give in and say, quietly, despairingly:
“I want to be inside of you.”
Sehun was the type to comply. He would put Kyungsoo's member in him as if it was the easiest thing for him to do, but whenever Kyungsoo watched – and really watched – he noticed the little winces and bitten lips to hold back moans. Sehun was the type to ride Kyungsoo, bouncing up and down on his lap but refusing any kisses on his lips and refusing to let Kyungsoo touch him more.
They were all of that, but they were not the type to stay. This was something Kyungsoo knew.
Yet in that moment as he watched Sehun's back disappear, covered by his shirt, a part of him wished they were.
Kyungsoo had forgotten how it started, or so he would tell himself. It was a half-lie really, because in the matters of how, Kyungsoo remembered some things very vividly.
He remembered how he came to the conclusion he might need, for the lack of a better word, a fuckbuddy. He remembered how he was hard at the thought of Jongin's body and the feel of Jongin's touch, which was difficult because Jongin touched a lot. He was hard and frustrated because he knew Jongin was straight and falling for straight boys was an error twenty-years old Kyungsoo hadn't learn to not do.
He remembered how Sehun became the right partner for his little vent. Sehun wouldn't kiss and tell. (Sehun didn't kiss at all, but that was beside the point) But more than that, Sehun's heart was just as broken despite looking like he was as unmoved as Kyungsoo pretended to be. Sehun's heart, unlike Kyungsoo's, was broken by playing best friend to a boy who loved another boy, except that other boy wasn't Sehun. Kyungsoo wasn't ever sure which was worse.
He remembered how Sehun felt in his arms for the first time, back then when there was no tie and no tying up and Sehun wasn't as cheeky or brave. He remembered how back then, Sehun wasn't as tall and wasn't as built too.
But he couldn't, for the life of him, remember how did Sehun stopped being a stand-in for Jongin and started transforming into his own shape and his own skin in Kyungsoo's mind. How it came to be that every time, he realised he was simply fucking Oh Sehun, not Oh Sehun as a replacement for Kim Jongin.
He couldn't, for the life of him, remembered how he came to an unspoken conclusion he wanted to continue despite his fantasy having long shattered while Sehun's remaining in tact.
Maybe it was the neck kisses, the coy smile, the word hyung that left Sehun's lips not to respect but to tease, even though Kyungsoo recognised that he wasn't the hyung that word wanted to reach.
If Kyungsoo was someone else, perhaps his expression would have betrayed him right now, but Kyungsoo was Kyungsoo and his face remained in its poker state even as his heart started hurting around Sehun.
Even is he wanted to beg Sehun to stay, his voice remained unwavering and his expression remained non-committal.
Even as Sehun laughed and reminded him mercilessly (even if Sehun didn't know he was hurting him) and unhelpfully (because Kyungsoo had never forgotten) that they weren't like that.
“Do you want to end this?” Kyungsoo asked Sehun. They were backstage and had somehow managed to find themselves a little corner. Sehun had sucked him off, slowly and teasingly despite nearby footsteps ringing in Kyungsoo's ears.
A part of him wanted to see something in Sehun. An expression that showed surprise. Although ideally, he wanted Sehun to cry, even a little bit. At the very least, he wanted Sehun to say no.
His eyes watched Sehun's reaction, his expression unchanging.
And so was Sehun's. Sehun didn't look surprised, not even a little. Sehun didn't cry, didn't even have to blink back tears. Sehun didn't say no.
Sehun shrugged.
“Do you?”
And Kyungsoo knew he should have said yes, but his voice created a steady and unwavering “no” instead.
This would all come to an end one day, Kyungsoo knew, but he didn't want that day to be today. He wanted another day of Sehun's lips against his skin, even if they were fleeting and left no marks, as if they were never there.
This would all come to an end one day, Kyungsoo knew, but he wanted to engrave Sehun's taste on his body before that day come and it will all disappear.
Another day of being something, even if it was not like that.
Re: FROM ROO
Date: 2014-10-23 12:53 am (UTC)Re: FROM ROO
Date: 2014-10-23 08:02 pm (UTC)