[ exo : to create gold ]
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kokoronashito create gold
fandom exo
pairing taoris
style one shot
length 1993
tao has a habit of giving kris photos signed 'with love', in gold. photographer!tao, artist!kris au. prompt exchange withgon. her prompt was hilary duff's song with love
“Why photography?”
The question came out of nowhere. They had been together for five months then and they were in the flat that once belonged to Kris alone, but Tao had slowly shifted into it. Before Kris knew it, Tao was paying half the rent and the flat was both his and Tao's. It was a weekday night and they had decided to order in pizza, two boxes laid open, two pizzas half-eaten, as they watched a television original movie that Kris wasn't paying full attention to.
The question could have been said at a better time. It could have been said last year when Kris first talked to Tao. It could have been asked half a year ago, after the first time they slept together. It could have been asked when Tao was actually doing photography.
But no, Kris asked his question as an obscure actor said a badly written line in an awful movie that might or might not be about ferret infestation.
Tao seemed less surprised at being asked than Kris was at asking. His answer came easy and without thought, as if it was always in his mind. It was probably always in his mind.
“I want to capture the feelings of the moment,” he said with a grin.
“That's cheesy.”
“You already know that about me, though,” Tao laughed. “Why do you paint?”
Unlike Tao whose answer was ready, Kris had to think. He had to think back to how he painted, the landscapes and people others describe as 'surreal' when they're nice and 'just plain weird' when they're honest.
“I guess,” he started, but he quickly paused to think again. “I want to change the feeiings of the moment.”
“And you call me cheesy?”
Kris smiled.
“You already know this about me too.”
And Tao smiled back.
“I do.”
Tao printed his photos, even some he took on his phone. He took a photo of Kris washing the dishes once without Kris' knowledge, then printed it and left it on the kitchen counter for Kris. It was signed with Tao's messy scribble of a handwriting and a shape that looked a lot of a heart, all in gold.
With Love.
That was what it read and that was the first of many.
The first time Kris took Tao out on a date it was on Tao's birthday early May. They had been together for a few weeks by then, but Kris had always been the stay home and cuddle sort of dater and Tao never minded that. But it was Tao's birthday and Tao had once said that he wanted to have a picnic, so Kris prepared a comically stereotypical red-and-white checkered cloth mat, a plastic bag of supermarket sandwiches and snacks as well as a large bottle of fizzy drink.
It was cloudy in the morning and he wondered if it was best they didn't go, as the weather forecast said it would rain, but he said nothing. It was Tao's day, he reminded himself, any excuses to not have a picnic was just excuses.
It rained soon after they set out their mat on the grass and they had to run for shelter underneath a large tree which was probably older than both of them put together.
“I knew it would rain,” Kris muttered under his breath as he watched.
It was still loud enough for Tao to hear.
“Then why a picnic?” Tao asked.
“You wanted one and it's your birthday.”
Tao smiled. He pressed himself against Kris' chest. He kissed Kris tenderly and suddenly, the early May rainy day felt a whole lot warmer than it should be.
He looked up at Kris and smiled. Kris couldn't help but to smile back.
“Why a white shirt?”
Tao asked coyly.
Kris rolled his eyes, looking at his soaked shirt clinging to his skin.
“Because I'm an idiot.”
Tao pulled his smart phone out of his pocket and snapped a photo of Kris. Kris could only scowl as he heard the automated click of the camera.
“What did you do that for?”
“I like this, I think it's a nice picture,” he showed it to Kris. “I think I'll get this printed next time.”
“Don't,” Kris said. This time, he leaned down to close the gap between him and Tao, taking his lips again. He wasn't as tender as Tao, but Tao seemed to like it all the same.
Kris woke up in two days with a photo on the table, glossy paper and all that signed With Love messily with a gold marker.
The first time they slept together was surprisingly not the first time they got together. As a couple who didn't go out, their friends tend to assume that was what brought them together, but it wasn't. For Kris, and he assumed for Tao too, it was the kisses and the hugs and the comfort that someone else was there against his back when he was watching the television.
The first time they slept together was a stay in affair when kissing in front of the television turned into making out turned into Kris leading Tao into his bedroom or was it Tao pushing Kris into his bedroom, Kris could no longer remember.
He did remember the morning after, or rather perhaps, Tao didn't let him forget. Kris woke up that morning after with Polaroid selfie of the two of them – Tao awake with beautiful, Kris asleep and far from glamorous – left on Tao's side of the bed as the smell of fried egg whiffed into the room.
As with the previous instances, the Polaroid was signed with the same words with the same messy handwriting in the same gold marker.
Kris held it in his hand as he went to greet Tao in the kitchen.
The subject of the next photo put the story out of chronological order, Kris realised, for the fourth polaroid was a photo Tao had taken before they started dating. Again, it was signed with love, with gold yet again.
The photo was of food that didn't look like food, charcoal black and on plate. It was from when they were just friends to Tao but Kris already knew that he wanted Tao for more than just that.
It was the time Kris tried to impress Tao by cooking, borrowing a kitchen from Chanyeol because Kris' kitchen was small and dirty and full of microwavable foods while Chanyeol's was not.
When the food was ready, Tao didn't laugh, not even as Kris' face turned red in embarrassment.
Tao smiled, and it was that smile that Kris fell in love with, not fell in crush with, but continued to love long after.
“Pizza?” Tao asked.
Kris nodded.
The fifth photo signed, this time with boring black ink because Tao didn't have time to find his gold marker before he had to leave for work, was when Tao signed to contract the place with Kris. It was a selfie of Tao making a v-sign, the apartment behind him. Tao looked beautiful in it, because he was a master of selfies, but Kris still thought the real Tao was even more so.
The selfie capture Tao's bright grin but not the way his lips turned into that grin.
The sixth was of the pizza boxes they shared when Kris asked him why did Tao do photography. The marker was back to gold.
The seventh was of Kris' painting of Tao. Tao had frowned when he first saw it.
“It looked nothing like me,” he said.
“It's an interpretation of you.”
“So in you mind, I have rainbow skin?”
Kris shook his head.
“But you're as colourful as one.”
Tao blinked in confusion. It took him three seconds to process that. When he did, he laughed.
“God, you're so cheesy,” he said as he leaned in to kiss Kris on the cheek. He then pulled out his fancy DSLR and took a proper photo of the painting.
He printed it on glossy paper and signed 'with' in blue and pink, 'love' in green and yellow but the name 'Tao' was still in gold.
There was an eight and a ninth and a tenth and Kris kept every single one of them. One for when they got together again after a fight was eleventh, and Kris wondered if he should have kept that because he didn't want to remember he hurt Tao.
In the end, he kept it in his wallet unlike the other in a scrapbook. It was a photo of their hands together, fingers intertwined, signed 'with love, Tao', as per usual, same messy handwriting and the same gold.
It was a reminded that Tao loved him anyway, even through an aching heart.
And then he stopped counting the photos. He kept all of them and he felt all of them. They were there for every moment that was important and every moment that didn't seem so. There were anniversaries and the first time they adopted Candy and Kandy as puppies, there were birthdays and New Years and other people's weddings.
There were breakfasts Kris made that wasn't charcoal, there were pictures of Kris doing everyday things like waking up and hanging the laundry.
All of them signed, with love. Most of them gold.
Kris asked why gold once. After all, Tao signed photos he gave to Sehun and Chanyeol and everyone else with whatever colours he had. Those were signed as 'Faithfully', instead of 'With Love', but the colours never seemed to matter.
It was at this that Tao turned red.
“It's just, you're gold.”
It was Kris' turn to blink in confusion and take several seconds to process that.
It was Kris' turn to laugh.
“God, you're cheesy,” it was Kris' turn to say that as he kissed Tao.
Kris skipped ahead to a photo from a time he stopped counting. It was of Kris alone in his exhibition. Not his, not exactly, but a Future of China: The Young Chinese Artists Exhibit. At that time, Kris was twenty-eight and felt neither young nor the future of any country's art, but there he was with his paintings displayed. In his hand was a bouquet of flowers, a present from Tao.
“I'm so proud of you,” Tao said, he looked as if he was about to tear up despite his smile.
“You're so emotional,” Kris sighed, but he too, smiled.
Tao nodded and said nothing more.
The very last photo in the scrapbook was of Kris' hands around Tao's. It was three months after the show and it was taken in the hospital.
Kris was always large next to Tao but it seemed even more so in this photo than in the eleventh. Tao lost a lot of weight in the weeks before that photo was taken.
“You didn't tell me,” Kris told Tao quietly.
And you didn't take photos of yourself lately, Kris wanted to say. He should have thought something was wrong.
“I don't want you to remember this,” Tao said weakly. “It's not a good thing.”
But Kris did.
He closed the scrapbook and put the last photo in his wallet.
A photo of two people's hands no longer together, but the warmth was still there in the end. To capture the feelings of the moment, Tao have said, and he had succeed.
Kris looked at a blank canvas in front of him. His hands were cold now and it felt the flat have been quiet and monochrome since Tao was gone.
To create the feelings, he told Tao. That was why he painted.
To recreate the feeling, he wanted to tell Tao now. Even if it might not be perfectly the same as it was before.
He picked up his paintbrush and started with gold.
fandom exo
pairing taoris
style one shot
length 1993
tao has a habit of giving kris photos signed 'with love', in gold. photographer!tao, artist!kris au. prompt exchange with
gon. her prompt was hilary duff's song with love“Why photography?”
The question came out of nowhere. They had been together for five months then and they were in the flat that once belonged to Kris alone, but Tao had slowly shifted into it. Before Kris knew it, Tao was paying half the rent and the flat was both his and Tao's. It was a weekday night and they had decided to order in pizza, two boxes laid open, two pizzas half-eaten, as they watched a television original movie that Kris wasn't paying full attention to.
The question could have been said at a better time. It could have been said last year when Kris first talked to Tao. It could have been asked half a year ago, after the first time they slept together. It could have been asked when Tao was actually doing photography.
But no, Kris asked his question as an obscure actor said a badly written line in an awful movie that might or might not be about ferret infestation.
Tao seemed less surprised at being asked than Kris was at asking. His answer came easy and without thought, as if it was always in his mind. It was probably always in his mind.
“I want to capture the feelings of the moment,” he said with a grin.
“That's cheesy.”
“You already know that about me, though,” Tao laughed. “Why do you paint?”
Unlike Tao whose answer was ready, Kris had to think. He had to think back to how he painted, the landscapes and people others describe as 'surreal' when they're nice and 'just plain weird' when they're honest.
“I guess,” he started, but he quickly paused to think again. “I want to change the feeiings of the moment.”
“And you call me cheesy?”
Kris smiled.
“You already know this about me too.”
And Tao smiled back.
“I do.”
Tao printed his photos, even some he took on his phone. He took a photo of Kris washing the dishes once without Kris' knowledge, then printed it and left it on the kitchen counter for Kris. It was signed with Tao's messy scribble of a handwriting and a shape that looked a lot of a heart, all in gold.
With Love.
That was what it read and that was the first of many.
The first time Kris took Tao out on a date it was on Tao's birthday early May. They had been together for a few weeks by then, but Kris had always been the stay home and cuddle sort of dater and Tao never minded that. But it was Tao's birthday and Tao had once said that he wanted to have a picnic, so Kris prepared a comically stereotypical red-and-white checkered cloth mat, a plastic bag of supermarket sandwiches and snacks as well as a large bottle of fizzy drink.
It was cloudy in the morning and he wondered if it was best they didn't go, as the weather forecast said it would rain, but he said nothing. It was Tao's day, he reminded himself, any excuses to not have a picnic was just excuses.
It rained soon after they set out their mat on the grass and they had to run for shelter underneath a large tree which was probably older than both of them put together.
“I knew it would rain,” Kris muttered under his breath as he watched.
It was still loud enough for Tao to hear.
“Then why a picnic?” Tao asked.
“You wanted one and it's your birthday.”
Tao smiled. He pressed himself against Kris' chest. He kissed Kris tenderly and suddenly, the early May rainy day felt a whole lot warmer than it should be.
He looked up at Kris and smiled. Kris couldn't help but to smile back.
“Why a white shirt?”
Tao asked coyly.
Kris rolled his eyes, looking at his soaked shirt clinging to his skin.
“Because I'm an idiot.”
Tao pulled his smart phone out of his pocket and snapped a photo of Kris. Kris could only scowl as he heard the automated click of the camera.
“What did you do that for?”
“I like this, I think it's a nice picture,” he showed it to Kris. “I think I'll get this printed next time.”
“Don't,” Kris said. This time, he leaned down to close the gap between him and Tao, taking his lips again. He wasn't as tender as Tao, but Tao seemed to like it all the same.
Kris woke up in two days with a photo on the table, glossy paper and all that signed With Love messily with a gold marker.
The first time they slept together was surprisingly not the first time they got together. As a couple who didn't go out, their friends tend to assume that was what brought them together, but it wasn't. For Kris, and he assumed for Tao too, it was the kisses and the hugs and the comfort that someone else was there against his back when he was watching the television.
The first time they slept together was a stay in affair when kissing in front of the television turned into making out turned into Kris leading Tao into his bedroom or was it Tao pushing Kris into his bedroom, Kris could no longer remember.
He did remember the morning after, or rather perhaps, Tao didn't let him forget. Kris woke up that morning after with Polaroid selfie of the two of them – Tao awake with beautiful, Kris asleep and far from glamorous – left on Tao's side of the bed as the smell of fried egg whiffed into the room.
As with the previous instances, the Polaroid was signed with the same words with the same messy handwriting in the same gold marker.
Kris held it in his hand as he went to greet Tao in the kitchen.
The subject of the next photo put the story out of chronological order, Kris realised, for the fourth polaroid was a photo Tao had taken before they started dating. Again, it was signed with love, with gold yet again.
The photo was of food that didn't look like food, charcoal black and on plate. It was from when they were just friends to Tao but Kris already knew that he wanted Tao for more than just that.
It was the time Kris tried to impress Tao by cooking, borrowing a kitchen from Chanyeol because Kris' kitchen was small and dirty and full of microwavable foods while Chanyeol's was not.
When the food was ready, Tao didn't laugh, not even as Kris' face turned red in embarrassment.
Tao smiled, and it was that smile that Kris fell in love with, not fell in crush with, but continued to love long after.
“Pizza?” Tao asked.
Kris nodded.
The fifth photo signed, this time with boring black ink because Tao didn't have time to find his gold marker before he had to leave for work, was when Tao signed to contract the place with Kris. It was a selfie of Tao making a v-sign, the apartment behind him. Tao looked beautiful in it, because he was a master of selfies, but Kris still thought the real Tao was even more so.
The selfie capture Tao's bright grin but not the way his lips turned into that grin.
The sixth was of the pizza boxes they shared when Kris asked him why did Tao do photography. The marker was back to gold.
The seventh was of Kris' painting of Tao. Tao had frowned when he first saw it.
“It looked nothing like me,” he said.
“It's an interpretation of you.”
“So in you mind, I have rainbow skin?”
Kris shook his head.
“But you're as colourful as one.”
Tao blinked in confusion. It took him three seconds to process that. When he did, he laughed.
“God, you're so cheesy,” he said as he leaned in to kiss Kris on the cheek. He then pulled out his fancy DSLR and took a proper photo of the painting.
He printed it on glossy paper and signed 'with' in blue and pink, 'love' in green and yellow but the name 'Tao' was still in gold.
There was an eight and a ninth and a tenth and Kris kept every single one of them. One for when they got together again after a fight was eleventh, and Kris wondered if he should have kept that because he didn't want to remember he hurt Tao.
In the end, he kept it in his wallet unlike the other in a scrapbook. It was a photo of their hands together, fingers intertwined, signed 'with love, Tao', as per usual, same messy handwriting and the same gold.
It was a reminded that Tao loved him anyway, even through an aching heart.
And then he stopped counting the photos. He kept all of them and he felt all of them. They were there for every moment that was important and every moment that didn't seem so. There were anniversaries and the first time they adopted Candy and Kandy as puppies, there were birthdays and New Years and other people's weddings.
There were breakfasts Kris made that wasn't charcoal, there were pictures of Kris doing everyday things like waking up and hanging the laundry.
All of them signed, with love. Most of them gold.
Kris asked why gold once. After all, Tao signed photos he gave to Sehun and Chanyeol and everyone else with whatever colours he had. Those were signed as 'Faithfully', instead of 'With Love', but the colours never seemed to matter.
It was at this that Tao turned red.
“It's just, you're gold.”
It was Kris' turn to blink in confusion and take several seconds to process that.
It was Kris' turn to laugh.
“God, you're cheesy,” it was Kris' turn to say that as he kissed Tao.
Kris skipped ahead to a photo from a time he stopped counting. It was of Kris alone in his exhibition. Not his, not exactly, but a Future of China: The Young Chinese Artists Exhibit. At that time, Kris was twenty-eight and felt neither young nor the future of any country's art, but there he was with his paintings displayed. In his hand was a bouquet of flowers, a present from Tao.
“I'm so proud of you,” Tao said, he looked as if he was about to tear up despite his smile.
“You're so emotional,” Kris sighed, but he too, smiled.
Tao nodded and said nothing more.
The very last photo in the scrapbook was of Kris' hands around Tao's. It was three months after the show and it was taken in the hospital.
Kris was always large next to Tao but it seemed even more so in this photo than in the eleventh. Tao lost a lot of weight in the weeks before that photo was taken.
“You didn't tell me,” Kris told Tao quietly.
And you didn't take photos of yourself lately, Kris wanted to say. He should have thought something was wrong.
“I don't want you to remember this,” Tao said weakly. “It's not a good thing.”
But Kris did.
He closed the scrapbook and put the last photo in his wallet.
A photo of two people's hands no longer together, but the warmth was still there in the end. To capture the feelings of the moment, Tao have said, and he had succeed.
Kris looked at a blank canvas in front of him. His hands were cold now and it felt the flat have been quiet and monochrome since Tao was gone.
To create the feelings, he told Tao. That was why he painted.
To recreate the feeling, he wanted to tell Tao now. Even if it might not be perfectly the same as it was before.
He picked up his paintbrush and started with gold.
