[ exo : midnight fire ]
Nov. 1st, 2014 11:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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kokoronashimidnight fire
fandom exo
pairing sesoo (d.o./sehun) kaisoo (d.o./kai)
style one-shot
length 2580
nsfw. contains non-consensual sex. character death. jongin died as kai and selfishly left kyungsoo behind, but it wasn't with kyungsoo did the remains of jongin lie.
Jongin died as Kai, dynamic and confident, spotlight washing over his very being and existence. Not for one moment would anyone think that Jongin was fading.
And Jongin didn't fade. He was extinguished. One moment he was burning bright, and the next, he was gone, just like that, and all that was left is ashes and dust.
No, wrong, that was not all.
All that was left was ashes and dust and Kyungsoo watching a mirage that just wouldn't disappear.
It wasn't that it wasn't fitting that Jongin died on stage, on the contrary it was perfect. Jongin have said himself, with absolute certainty, that he would be happy if that was to be where he breathed last.
But Kyungsoo couldn't shove away the feeling that Jongin was selfish for that.
That Jongin was selfish for making Kyungsoo watch his back collapse.
That Jongin was selfish for breathing his last while Kyungsoo was starting on a note, not even waiting for Kyungsoo to finish.
But still, the show must go on. Exo must continue. At first that was odd to be on a stage without Jongin. It was odd to not watch his back as he moved in a way no one else can really move because that was just Jongin.
But Kyungsoo took solace in how he knew that back better that anyone. That his voice could reach Jongin better than anyone else's.
Jongin couldn't be contained, not entirely, but Kyungsoo owned little parts of him.
He owned that view of Jongin's back as he danced. That 88 perfectly fitting on his form.
He owned the sight of those little lights in his eyes when they were just two during the makeshift movie dates they had in their room.
He owned the taste of Jongin's kisses and the memories of the sounds Jongin made when Kyungsoo held him in his arms.
And that was more than anyone else have of Jongin.
Or so he thought.
Sehun took to Jongin's old position as lead dancer with what Kyungsoo irrationally felt was great ease but rationally knew was after long struggles and late night practice sessions.
Logically, Sehun should have taken Jongin's position. Logically, Sehun deserved it.
But Kyungsoo couldn't take the number 94 taking place where 88 was supposed to. Is supposed too.
He said nothing and tried to pretend it was Jongin's back and not Sehun's that danced to the sound of his voice.
Slowly, the started the blur in his mind. The lie he told himself to make himself feel better began to be the lie that affected his vision of reality.
Like 94 became 88 Sehun became more and more like Jongin. Not in just where he stood. Not in just what movements he made.
But in the way he moved. Sehun used to move with a natural charisma, a rough and playful charm.
When did he start moving more with the passion and grace that Kyungsoo had always believed to belong to Jongin and to no one else.
Suddenly, the little parts of Jongin he did have was no longer near enough. They weren't the most anyone had of Jongin.
"Hyung? What's wrong?"
Kyungsoo said nothing. The word hyung on Sehun's tongue even, started to sound like how it would sound on Jongin's and he hated every bit of how it did.
Sehun had enough pieces left of Jongin inside him that he could create a whole Jongin again. Sehun had somehow manage to start conquering all the pieces of Jongin in the way Kyungsoo never had been able to and never will be able to.
"We're all worried for you," Chanyeol said. He sat across Kyungsoo on Jongin's bed. This action allowed was enough to make Kyungsoo tense. The bed was the only thing left that even felt a little like Jongin in their dorm after Jongin's family took everything else. And now, it would smell a little more like Chanyeol and a little less like Jongin.
Kyungsoo didn't even nod to acknowledge Chanyeol's words. He sat on his own bed, still, silent, breathing and blinking but little else.
"Kyungsoo," Chanyeol continued. "We all miss him, but it's been five months."
Kyungsoo stared at Chanyeol for a while. Chanyeol looked back, empathetic but not totally understanding of everything. He stood up from Jongin's bed, a little defeated.
"If you ever want to talk, tell me? Please?"
As Chanyeol turned to leave, Kyungsoo parted his lips. Unused to his speaking voice now, having not said much in months, Chanyeol was at the door by the time Kyungsoo found his voice.
"None miss him quite like him."
The statement was arrogant.
Chanyeol paused. Chanyeol spoke.
"I know."
Arrogant as it sounded, Chanyeol knew Kyungsoo was right.
On one of the days that Kyungsoo left his room for something other than work or practise, he was met the sight of Sehun on the couch with a copy of a mystery novel he remembered Jongin read.
"Stop reading that."
Kyungsoo said, the first time he had ever acknowledged Sehun's presence since he started seeing Sehun's 94 as Jongin's 88.
Sehun stared up at Kyungsoo, surprised Kyungsoo even stepped out of his room. Surprised Kyungsoo was even looking at him.
"Hah?" Come the eventual monosyllabic reply, sounding annoyed.
"Yeah, stop reading that book. Stop reading Jongin's book."
Sehun stood to tower over Kyungsoo.
"What's your problem?" Sehun scowled. "This is my book."
"Jongin read it first."
"In case you forgot, Jongin read a fuck load of things."
"There are still a fuck load of things beside those Jongin read."
"I want to read this book," Sehun said. Sehun glared. And Sehun said, perhaps just to be spiteful. "Jongin gave it to me."
Kyungsoo couldn't remember what happened next. Everything went black and a little blue and when he returned to his senses, Chanyeol and Baekhyun was holding him down while Joonmyun took care of Sehun's open wound.
No one said anything besides the occasional expletives as Kyungsoo struggled to break out of Baekhyun and Chanyeol's hold.
Kyungsoo never apologized for the incident.
Sehun started it.
In what must be the worst decision management ever made, Sehun was moved to Kyungsoo's room and Jongin's bed. Learn to get along, they say, and Kyungsoo could tell Sehun was as displeased about this as he was as he tossed his box of things on the bed.
Kyungsoo said nothing and Sehun was just as good at being silent.
"I'm not apologising," Kyungsoo said that night when it was dark and he was facing the wall, away from the faint outlines of Sehun's annoying back.
Despite the continuing silence, Kyungsoo could imagine Sehun rolling his eyes in the darkness.
Yet that night, when he could have sworn he heard Sehun's heart beat in the dark, he could have sworn that it was Jongin's.
Thump-thump-thump.
Rhythmic and perfect for dancing to.
Thump-thump-thump.
There was Jongin, across the bed, in the body of someone else.
Since then, it grew increasingly hard to separate Jongin from Sehun. Increasingly hard to stop seeing Jongin in Sehun's place.
The grace in Sehun's movement began to seem more and more like Jongin's with each passing that day. The way he rapped sounded more and more like Jongin.
The way he smiled.
The way he talked.
The way he stood.
Kyungsoo's little lie of comfort had become an unwanted reality he couldn't escape.
And Kyungsoo began to fall in love again.
With the Jongin inside Sehun's body.
It makes him so so mad mad mad.
Why did Jongin had to exist there instead.
Why why why why why.
Why Sehun and not Kyungsoo?
Jongin was supposed to be his. At least his more than anyone else.
His little pieces of Jongin was supposed to be the most complete fragments of Jongin left.
Sehun came back to their room late at night.
(Just like Jongin)
From dance practise surely, his body smelling like soap and shampoo from the shower he took right after.
(Just like Jongin)
He wore his towel around his neck.
(Just like Jongin)
He tossed his bag to the floor.
(Just like Jongin)
And he slumped on his bed - Jongin's bed that smelt less and less like the Jongin Kyungsoo knew and more like the Jongin inside of Sehun.
(And the way he slumped was
Just like Jongin)
He said nothing to Kyungsoo just like Jongin if he came back tired choosing to instead listen to the music with his headphones just like Jongin.
Just like Jongin and just like Jongin and that was all that Kyungsoo could see.
He stood up and stormed out of the room. Sehun didn't move to chase him.
Just like Jongin.
The next night Sehun came back late again and Kyungsoo was waiting, sitting in his night time briefs and an old shirt on the edge of the bed facing the bed that used to be Jongin's.
"What?" Sehun said irritably.
Kyungsoo said nothing to that. He didn't even lift his face to Sehun. He simply watched the empty bed and watched as Sehun's figure appeared and took a seat within Kyungsoo's line of sight.
"What?" Sehun once more, asked.
And Kyungsoo once more, said nothing.
Sehun sighed and rolled his eyes. He had thought that there was no use in continuing a conversation with Kyungsoo as is the case most of the time. He turned to lie down on his bed.
It was then that Kyungsoo stood, it was then that he walked the small distance between their two single beds. It was then that he looked at Sehun and watched Sehun and not the scenery of the bed that was Jongin's that Sehun intruded into.
For a third time, Sehun asked,
"What?"
Kyungsoo watched and watched and Sehun watched back as Kyungsoo's lips finally parted.
"You're not Jongin."
Sehun didn't understand. It was written all over his face that he didn't.
"I never said I was."
Kyungsoo sat on the bed that used to be Jongin's now, leaning into Sehun, his arms rested on either side of the younger man's body, serving both to support Kyungsoo's weight as well as trapping Sehun underneath him. Kyungsoo then spoke, quietly and feeling every word of his breath.
"Then why does your heart beat like his did?"
Sehun took a deep breathe before he replied.
"You're cra-"
But Kyungsoo didn't allow him to finish his sentence. No, he moved in to force Sehun into a kiss that disgraced the every word of kiss. It was violent and defied every poetry of love ever written about the kiss.
By the time they parted, Sehun had every ounce of breath he had stolen from him. It took him a while to process everything, however, and just as he was about to growl, Kyungsoo kissed him once more, this time even tougher, more teeth and tongue clashing and fighting than anything else.
"Why do you even taste like him?"
Kyungsoo said quietly that second time they parted.
"Why you?"
"Because you're crazy and need help," Sehun managed his growl this time.
Kyungsoo ignored him, pushing Sehun down when Sehun was about to push him away. And for the third time, he kissed Sehun again.
Even rougher and more violent tasting every bit of Jongin that exist inside of Sehun.
It wasn't enough it wasn't enough it wasn't enough.
With that thought repeating again and again in his head and his heart and it commanded every cell of his body to start exploring Sehun's form in other ways.
His hands began to roam Sehun's body, pushing down strongly to fight against every cell of Sehun that wanted him away. Hands roaming under Sehun's shirt first, eventually forcing the piece off Sehun to give himself more access.
He kissed down - bit down a trail of marks, neck then chest then pulling on Sehun's nipples with his his teeth.
"You're fucking crazy."
"Fuck you get off me"
"What the fuck are you doing?!"
The curse words laden phrases streamed out of Sehun between pants and stifled moans, but every reaction Sehun had was ignored by Kyungsoo. Sehun didn't stop resisting at all, but he also didn't stop tasting like Jongin, hence Kyungsoo's hand gripping tightly at his hips and pushing him down to taste more of him.
His hand then roamed underneath Sehun's boxers, touching Sehun in places that made it a little harder for him to stifle his moans. With that, Kyungsoo pulled off Sehun's sweatpants and boxers down with one quick movement.
It was then that Sehun's expletives grew louder and honestly, annoying, so Kyungsoo moved back to kiss Sehun, draining the words and covering them with tastes that he loved. His hand continued to work down Sehun, his fingers quickly finding Sehun's entrance.
Sehun bit when the first of Kyungsoo's finger entered him, but Kyungsoo continued without regard. It was only when Sehun bit again, as his back arched and his body shook to have taken the second of Kyungsoo's finger did Kyungsoo drew away.
"Jongin liked this," he said.
"I'm not--" Sehun started but was cut off by the third finger inside of him, his whole body shaking uncomfortably at the unwelcome feeling. "I'm not Jongin."
"Then give him back to me."
"He's dead," Sehun said with all the strength he could summon to say.
"He's with you. I see him."
Sehun repeated, for the third time, his face contorted in pain and distaste:
"You're crazy."
Again Kyungsoo didn't listen to him. Hardly having prepared Sehun, he could no longer wait. He let his own half-erect member out of his briefs and entered Sehun forcefully, causing the younger boy to cry out in pain.
"Stop," Sehun managed to say, weakly compared to all his previous expletives and anger. Pain does that to people perhaps. Sehun's entrance was torn and bleeding from the lack of proper preparation and from Kyungsoo moving too fast too soon. It hurt him and it
Kyungsoo again didn't listen to his words. He kept his own lips and tongue and teeth busy leaving marks down Sehun's skin.
"Stop," Sehun said again, crying a little and even more in pain, his hands struggling uselessly against the force of Kyungsoo's smaller body, but like everything else Sehun said it was ignored.
Sehun was non consequential.
What was important was Jongin, Jongin, Jongin, who was somewhere there even if Kyungsoo couldn't truly see him.
Or at least that was what Kyungsoo truly believed as he continued to taste Sehun but the sensation within him felt that it was indeed Jongin, truly. That was what he believed as he felt Sehun around his member and every bit of his body resonated in saying that it was Jongin. It felt like Jongin, exactly like Jongin and that was exactly what Kyungsoo craved and what Kyungsoo needed.
When he looked to see Sehun's face, he had to wonder aloud.
"Why you?"
And even in that pain and even when using every ounce of strength he had to push back Kyungsoo, Sehun managed to say, one time too many:
"Because you're crazy."
Kyungsoo couldn't remember fully what happened next. He remembered screaming, he remembered coming and he remembered Sehun's neck around his grip.
He remembered Sehun's life draining a little Sehun's life extinguishing like fire in water.
Like Jongin.
He remembered most of all, Jongin being finally gone and gone away, and no longer being inside of Sehun.
The little pieces inside of him was enough now.
Kyungsoo smiled.
fandom exo
pairing sesoo (d.o./sehun) kaisoo (d.o./kai)
style one-shot
length 2580
nsfw. contains non-consensual sex. character death. jongin died as kai and selfishly left kyungsoo behind, but it wasn't with kyungsoo did the remains of jongin lie.
Jongin died as Kai, dynamic and confident, spotlight washing over his very being and existence. Not for one moment would anyone think that Jongin was fading.
And Jongin didn't fade. He was extinguished. One moment he was burning bright, and the next, he was gone, just like that, and all that was left is ashes and dust.
No, wrong, that was not all.
All that was left was ashes and dust and Kyungsoo watching a mirage that just wouldn't disappear.
It wasn't that it wasn't fitting that Jongin died on stage, on the contrary it was perfect. Jongin have said himself, with absolute certainty, that he would be happy if that was to be where he breathed last.
But Kyungsoo couldn't shove away the feeling that Jongin was selfish for that.
That Jongin was selfish for making Kyungsoo watch his back collapse.
That Jongin was selfish for breathing his last while Kyungsoo was starting on a note, not even waiting for Kyungsoo to finish.
But still, the show must go on. Exo must continue. At first that was odd to be on a stage without Jongin. It was odd to not watch his back as he moved in a way no one else can really move because that was just Jongin.
But Kyungsoo took solace in how he knew that back better that anyone. That his voice could reach Jongin better than anyone else's.
Jongin couldn't be contained, not entirely, but Kyungsoo owned little parts of him.
He owned that view of Jongin's back as he danced. That 88 perfectly fitting on his form.
He owned the sight of those little lights in his eyes when they were just two during the makeshift movie dates they had in their room.
He owned the taste of Jongin's kisses and the memories of the sounds Jongin made when Kyungsoo held him in his arms.
And that was more than anyone else have of Jongin.
Or so he thought.
Sehun took to Jongin's old position as lead dancer with what Kyungsoo irrationally felt was great ease but rationally knew was after long struggles and late night practice sessions.
Logically, Sehun should have taken Jongin's position. Logically, Sehun deserved it.
But Kyungsoo couldn't take the number 94 taking place where 88 was supposed to. Is supposed too.
He said nothing and tried to pretend it was Jongin's back and not Sehun's that danced to the sound of his voice.
Slowly, the started the blur in his mind. The lie he told himself to make himself feel better began to be the lie that affected his vision of reality.
Like 94 became 88 Sehun became more and more like Jongin. Not in just where he stood. Not in just what movements he made.
But in the way he moved. Sehun used to move with a natural charisma, a rough and playful charm.
When did he start moving more with the passion and grace that Kyungsoo had always believed to belong to Jongin and to no one else.
Suddenly, the little parts of Jongin he did have was no longer near enough. They weren't the most anyone had of Jongin.
"Hyung? What's wrong?"
Kyungsoo said nothing. The word hyung on Sehun's tongue even, started to sound like how it would sound on Jongin's and he hated every bit of how it did.
Sehun had enough pieces left of Jongin inside him that he could create a whole Jongin again. Sehun had somehow manage to start conquering all the pieces of Jongin in the way Kyungsoo never had been able to and never will be able to.
"We're all worried for you," Chanyeol said. He sat across Kyungsoo on Jongin's bed. This action allowed was enough to make Kyungsoo tense. The bed was the only thing left that even felt a little like Jongin in their dorm after Jongin's family took everything else. And now, it would smell a little more like Chanyeol and a little less like Jongin.
Kyungsoo didn't even nod to acknowledge Chanyeol's words. He sat on his own bed, still, silent, breathing and blinking but little else.
"Kyungsoo," Chanyeol continued. "We all miss him, but it's been five months."
Kyungsoo stared at Chanyeol for a while. Chanyeol looked back, empathetic but not totally understanding of everything. He stood up from Jongin's bed, a little defeated.
"If you ever want to talk, tell me? Please?"
As Chanyeol turned to leave, Kyungsoo parted his lips. Unused to his speaking voice now, having not said much in months, Chanyeol was at the door by the time Kyungsoo found his voice.
"None miss him quite like him."
The statement was arrogant.
Chanyeol paused. Chanyeol spoke.
"I know."
Arrogant as it sounded, Chanyeol knew Kyungsoo was right.
On one of the days that Kyungsoo left his room for something other than work or practise, he was met the sight of Sehun on the couch with a copy of a mystery novel he remembered Jongin read.
"Stop reading that."
Kyungsoo said, the first time he had ever acknowledged Sehun's presence since he started seeing Sehun's 94 as Jongin's 88.
Sehun stared up at Kyungsoo, surprised Kyungsoo even stepped out of his room. Surprised Kyungsoo was even looking at him.
"Hah?" Come the eventual monosyllabic reply, sounding annoyed.
"Yeah, stop reading that book. Stop reading Jongin's book."
Sehun stood to tower over Kyungsoo.
"What's your problem?" Sehun scowled. "This is my book."
"Jongin read it first."
"In case you forgot, Jongin read a fuck load of things."
"There are still a fuck load of things beside those Jongin read."
"I want to read this book," Sehun said. Sehun glared. And Sehun said, perhaps just to be spiteful. "Jongin gave it to me."
Kyungsoo couldn't remember what happened next. Everything went black and a little blue and when he returned to his senses, Chanyeol and Baekhyun was holding him down while Joonmyun took care of Sehun's open wound.
No one said anything besides the occasional expletives as Kyungsoo struggled to break out of Baekhyun and Chanyeol's hold.
Kyungsoo never apologized for the incident.
Sehun started it.
In what must be the worst decision management ever made, Sehun was moved to Kyungsoo's room and Jongin's bed. Learn to get along, they say, and Kyungsoo could tell Sehun was as displeased about this as he was as he tossed his box of things on the bed.
Kyungsoo said nothing and Sehun was just as good at being silent.
"I'm not apologising," Kyungsoo said that night when it was dark and he was facing the wall, away from the faint outlines of Sehun's annoying back.
Despite the continuing silence, Kyungsoo could imagine Sehun rolling his eyes in the darkness.
Yet that night, when he could have sworn he heard Sehun's heart beat in the dark, he could have sworn that it was Jongin's.
Thump-thump-thump.
Rhythmic and perfect for dancing to.
Thump-thump-thump.
There was Jongin, across the bed, in the body of someone else.
Since then, it grew increasingly hard to separate Jongin from Sehun. Increasingly hard to stop seeing Jongin in Sehun's place.
The grace in Sehun's movement began to seem more and more like Jongin's with each passing that day. The way he rapped sounded more and more like Jongin.
The way he smiled.
The way he talked.
The way he stood.
Kyungsoo's little lie of comfort had become an unwanted reality he couldn't escape.
And Kyungsoo began to fall in love again.
With the Jongin inside Sehun's body.
It makes him so so mad mad mad.
Why did Jongin had to exist there instead.
Why why why why why.
Why Sehun and not Kyungsoo?
Jongin was supposed to be his. At least his more than anyone else.
His little pieces of Jongin was supposed to be the most complete fragments of Jongin left.
Sehun came back to their room late at night.
(Just like Jongin)
From dance practise surely, his body smelling like soap and shampoo from the shower he took right after.
(Just like Jongin)
He wore his towel around his neck.
(Just like Jongin)
He tossed his bag to the floor.
(Just like Jongin)
And he slumped on his bed - Jongin's bed that smelt less and less like the Jongin Kyungsoo knew and more like the Jongin inside of Sehun.
(And the way he slumped was
Just like Jongin)
He said nothing to Kyungsoo just like Jongin if he came back tired choosing to instead listen to the music with his headphones just like Jongin.
Just like Jongin and just like Jongin and that was all that Kyungsoo could see.
He stood up and stormed out of the room. Sehun didn't move to chase him.
Just like Jongin.
The next night Sehun came back late again and Kyungsoo was waiting, sitting in his night time briefs and an old shirt on the edge of the bed facing the bed that used to be Jongin's.
"What?" Sehun said irritably.
Kyungsoo said nothing to that. He didn't even lift his face to Sehun. He simply watched the empty bed and watched as Sehun's figure appeared and took a seat within Kyungsoo's line of sight.
"What?" Sehun once more, asked.
And Kyungsoo once more, said nothing.
Sehun sighed and rolled his eyes. He had thought that there was no use in continuing a conversation with Kyungsoo as is the case most of the time. He turned to lie down on his bed.
It was then that Kyungsoo stood, it was then that he walked the small distance between their two single beds. It was then that he looked at Sehun and watched Sehun and not the scenery of the bed that was Jongin's that Sehun intruded into.
For a third time, Sehun asked,
"What?"
Kyungsoo watched and watched and Sehun watched back as Kyungsoo's lips finally parted.
"You're not Jongin."
Sehun didn't understand. It was written all over his face that he didn't.
"I never said I was."
Kyungsoo sat on the bed that used to be Jongin's now, leaning into Sehun, his arms rested on either side of the younger man's body, serving both to support Kyungsoo's weight as well as trapping Sehun underneath him. Kyungsoo then spoke, quietly and feeling every word of his breath.
"Then why does your heart beat like his did?"
Sehun took a deep breathe before he replied.
"You're cra-"
But Kyungsoo didn't allow him to finish his sentence. No, he moved in to force Sehun into a kiss that disgraced the every word of kiss. It was violent and defied every poetry of love ever written about the kiss.
By the time they parted, Sehun had every ounce of breath he had stolen from him. It took him a while to process everything, however, and just as he was about to growl, Kyungsoo kissed him once more, this time even tougher, more teeth and tongue clashing and fighting than anything else.
"Why do you even taste like him?"
Kyungsoo said quietly that second time they parted.
"Why you?"
"Because you're crazy and need help," Sehun managed his growl this time.
Kyungsoo ignored him, pushing Sehun down when Sehun was about to push him away. And for the third time, he kissed Sehun again.
Even rougher and more violent tasting every bit of Jongin that exist inside of Sehun.
It wasn't enough it wasn't enough it wasn't enough.
With that thought repeating again and again in his head and his heart and it commanded every cell of his body to start exploring Sehun's form in other ways.
His hands began to roam Sehun's body, pushing down strongly to fight against every cell of Sehun that wanted him away. Hands roaming under Sehun's shirt first, eventually forcing the piece off Sehun to give himself more access.
He kissed down - bit down a trail of marks, neck then chest then pulling on Sehun's nipples with his his teeth.
"You're fucking crazy."
"Fuck you get off me"
"What the fuck are you doing?!"
The curse words laden phrases streamed out of Sehun between pants and stifled moans, but every reaction Sehun had was ignored by Kyungsoo. Sehun didn't stop resisting at all, but he also didn't stop tasting like Jongin, hence Kyungsoo's hand gripping tightly at his hips and pushing him down to taste more of him.
His hand then roamed underneath Sehun's boxers, touching Sehun in places that made it a little harder for him to stifle his moans. With that, Kyungsoo pulled off Sehun's sweatpants and boxers down with one quick movement.
It was then that Sehun's expletives grew louder and honestly, annoying, so Kyungsoo moved back to kiss Sehun, draining the words and covering them with tastes that he loved. His hand continued to work down Sehun, his fingers quickly finding Sehun's entrance.
Sehun bit when the first of Kyungsoo's finger entered him, but Kyungsoo continued without regard. It was only when Sehun bit again, as his back arched and his body shook to have taken the second of Kyungsoo's finger did Kyungsoo drew away.
"Jongin liked this," he said.
"I'm not--" Sehun started but was cut off by the third finger inside of him, his whole body shaking uncomfortably at the unwelcome feeling. "I'm not Jongin."
"Then give him back to me."
"He's dead," Sehun said with all the strength he could summon to say.
"He's with you. I see him."
Sehun repeated, for the third time, his face contorted in pain and distaste:
"You're crazy."
Again Kyungsoo didn't listen to him. Hardly having prepared Sehun, he could no longer wait. He let his own half-erect member out of his briefs and entered Sehun forcefully, causing the younger boy to cry out in pain.
"Stop," Sehun managed to say, weakly compared to all his previous expletives and anger. Pain does that to people perhaps. Sehun's entrance was torn and bleeding from the lack of proper preparation and from Kyungsoo moving too fast too soon. It hurt him and it
Kyungsoo again didn't listen to his words. He kept his own lips and tongue and teeth busy leaving marks down Sehun's skin.
"Stop," Sehun said again, crying a little and even more in pain, his hands struggling uselessly against the force of Kyungsoo's smaller body, but like everything else Sehun said it was ignored.
Sehun was non consequential.
What was important was Jongin, Jongin, Jongin, who was somewhere there even if Kyungsoo couldn't truly see him.
Or at least that was what Kyungsoo truly believed as he continued to taste Sehun but the sensation within him felt that it was indeed Jongin, truly. That was what he believed as he felt Sehun around his member and every bit of his body resonated in saying that it was Jongin. It felt like Jongin, exactly like Jongin and that was exactly what Kyungsoo craved and what Kyungsoo needed.
When he looked to see Sehun's face, he had to wonder aloud.
"Why you?"
And even in that pain and even when using every ounce of strength he had to push back Kyungsoo, Sehun managed to say, one time too many:
"Because you're crazy."
Kyungsoo couldn't remember fully what happened next. He remembered screaming, he remembered coming and he remembered Sehun's neck around his grip.
He remembered Sehun's life draining a little Sehun's life extinguishing like fire in water.
Like Jongin.
He remembered most of all, Jongin being finally gone and gone away, and no longer being inside of Sehun.
The little pieces inside of him was enough now.
Kyungsoo smiled.
from silv
Date: 2014-11-01 11:56 pm (UTC)this was really well written and im not just saying that because satansoo! *__* but really i liked the flow of this a lot and you expressed kyungsoo's torment really well. bruh is angstin cos of jongin.. actually this part
"That Jongin was selfish for breathing his last while Kyungsoo was starting on a note, not even waiting for Kyungsoo to finish."
might be my fave line!!
also i loved all the random trivia u put in there lmao ^___^ and chansoo friendship is my fave! and u even put in suho/sehun with the taking care of sehuns wound...yeh i saw that dont lie to me
anyways THANKS FOR ALWAYS PUTTING my muses and thoughts into actual fic and for discussing all these ~ideas with me ;___; u are A+!!!!!
Re: from silv
Date: 2014-11-02 05:01 am (UTC)THAT WAS MY FAV LINE TOO /randomly proud
The Suhun is an accident I swear k
ALL THESE IDEAS ARE FUN TO TALK ABOUT even if it ends in me writing way too much kyungsoo wtf